Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Do you ever lost control and caused self-abused? In fact, when you feel deep depressed and when you are in your own world, everything will be out of your control... This what I get used too right now! I scratched both my arms till it bleeding... I stabbed myself with pen... and I dint feel the pain! I feel numb and I totally don't know what is the feel of pain.. It's really out of my control which caused self-abused... to get myself get hurt to release some kind of annoying feels in my heart... People will think that I was mad! But in fact all this is out of my control... as I mentioned earlier... I feel numb... I cant bear this feelings... I want to feel something that more painful than the pain in my heart now....

p/s: For you-know-who-you-are, I am sorry that it's really out of my control... Remember last time when we quarreled, it used to happened and you will stop me but now no one to stop me... Don't worry as the pain is not as greater as the pain I feel in my heart...


  1. Hey, cheer up. Try to go out and meet some friends. Or find new hobbies to occupy your time. Perhaps you should go traveling...

  2. >>> jam <<<
    Thanks for your concern. I will.. Just that sometimes in darkness of night make me think a lot.. :)


  3. try this... when you feel like self-abused, use some marker pens and draw on your face... i believe, you will think better when u be rational back... coz it's hard to get off, but anyhow, u will try to get it off...

    get what i mean?

  4. >>> Kiaki Mah <<<

    I get what you mean but "NOooo.. " I wont sacrifice my face for this... As I said, it's really out of my control.. When I m very very down, it's an action without me realized. Thanks God.. Now getting better... Thanks for the suggestion..

    ---Sweet Lavender---